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WANT TO BE A PERFECT PARENT? August 5, 2016

Posted by Carole Lynne in All About Spirit, Feeling Better, Grief, Love, mediumship, practical action, Spiritual Awakening, Spiritual Priority, Sri Aurobindo and the Mother, Uncategorized, Worries.
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Pain of Regret Healing.png

HEALING THE PAIN OF REGRET ~  FROM A MEDIUM’S PERSPECTIVE

Painful photo? YES as the pain of regret IS very painful. Everything I have learned from BEING a parent and everything I have learned from the messages of apology that come through from loved one’s in eternal life to their children still living has taught me: there is no such thing as a perfect parent. And there is no such thing as a perfect human being. At least I have never met such a unique creature. ( In fact those parading around as perfect spiritual guru’s frighten me the most.)

SOOOOOOOO, should we stop TRYING because we can’t be perfect? If you say “yes” to that –  it is the same as being on a healthy diet, having something not so healthy to eat and then deciding all is lost so you might as well food binge for the next month.

FACE THE PAIN OF REGRET: Think about that ONE DAY that changed your whole life, at least it seemed like it did. You made a mistake. If only you could take that day back. The movie of that day plays over and over in your mind, year after year. This was a day you made a mistake as a parent.  There may have been other mistakes on other days, but this one day looms large on the horizon of your visions of the mistakes you made.

Do those mistakes matter now? Of course they matter now, but if you have faced your mistakes, have become a more balanced person, apologized for your mistakes, then it is high time that you FORGIVE YOURSELF even if you are not forgiven by others.

FORGIVE YOURSELF AND PERHAPS YOU WILL BEGIN TO FORGIVE YOUR OWN PARENTS

Were your parents perfect? Most likely not. Did they make mistakes that you have never forgiven them for in your heart. (It goes without saying that if you have been brutally abused you may not be able to forgive.)  But for the better part of us who had parents that ranged from close to perfect to emotionally abusive due to untreated mental illness or personality disorders: we have parents who loved us but who make mistakes that changed our lives in the same way that our mistakes changed the lives of our children.  It is amazing how we begin to understand and forgive the mistakes of our parents as we begin to understand our own mistakes AS parents.

As a medium I can tell many stories about the loved ones who come through in readings with very specific apologies to their living children. And as these loved ones in spirit are able to apologize it appears to me that they are able to move on in the never ending spiritual growth in Eternal Life.

YOU reading this, are still living and so you have the opportunity to apologize NOW.  You have the chance to forgive yourself NOW.

FORGIVE YOURSELF AND PERHAPS YOU WILL BEGIN TO FORGIVE YOUR CHILDREN

If you have children who have reached adulthood, have they been perfect children? Have they always treated you and other members of the family well? Most likely they have not as they are human beings like the rest of us and they are not perfect. As you forgive yourself for not being perfect, you may begin to forgive not only your parents, but your children.

And if your grown children are parents, most likely they will not become perfect parents as they are human beings and there are no perfect human beings.

I DISAGREE WITH MANY OF MY COLLEAGUES WHO BELIEVE EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON

There are colleagues in my field who believe that every thing we do, we do for the reason of learning, and everything that happens is meant to happen. I am not able to go along with that idea, and from my perspective there is absolutely no way to prove that concept. When someone is brutally abused I cannot accept that this was “meant to be.”

What I do accept is that we do not have control over all that happens in life. What we have more control over is how we respond to what happens.  And if we have behaved badly it was not written someplace in eternity that we were meant to behave badly. We must face our actions, cope with our regret, change our behaviors, and eventually forgive ourselves.  And if others have hurt us, depending on the severity of the circumstances, we need to find our way to forgiveness as much as we possibly can.

Let us focus on forgiving ourselves, and forgiving others. And while facing the regret, also focus on facing the reality that no one is perfect: I am not perfect, you are not perfect, they are not perfect. No one is perfect. Accepting our imperfect reality brings HEALING.

DEAR READERS: This post cannot possibly contain all of the many stories about different kinds of mistakes: mistakes we have made ourselves and the many ways we have suffered from the mistakes made by others.  Not even a whole book could include all of the mistakes human beings make. The topic of mistakes can be overwhelming, but we can make a start by accepting who we are as human beings and work to become better people making less mistakes.

 

 

 

 

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The Way We Were Then August 18, 2014

Posted by Carole Lynne in All About Spirit, Author Carole Lynne, Feeling Better, Grief, Love, spirituality in action, They Don't Understand, Uncategorized, Worries.
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One of the hardest challenges in life is accepting change and that things and relationships never stay the same. Of course we are joyful when the changes are wonderful and beautiful, but when the changes leave us feeling sad and alone, it is difficult to accept change.  When the changes are hard to accept, we want things to be “the way we were then.”  When we are in grief over change: be it the passing of a loved one, be it a change for the worst in a relationship or job, it becomes almost impossible at times, to move on into happiness once again.

Many of us become depressed as we are unable to accept that things are not the way they were, and in our lack of acceptance of the present, we miss all the beautiful things life has to offer RIGHT NOW IN THE MOMENT.

It goes without saying thaCarole Lynne Mauit when a death occurs, no one is going to be able to move into happiness for quite some time. But eventually, even when are in grief over the passing of a loved one, with time and patience, we will learn to accept our new life. We will learn to accept that things can never be the way they were then.

Acceptance and gratitude become our best friends when we are sad.

For many of us the anniversaries of the passing of loved ones or of relationships that ended, set off emotional upheavals. If we know that the anniversary of an upsetting event is coming up, perhaps we can plan something nice to look forward to during the time of the anniversary. In doing so we will be making a statement to ourselves, that even though it is a sad anniversary, it is the anniversary of something that did not happen today, but perhaps long ago.  TODAY we need to find happiness, even as we have sad feelings about the past.

Certain times of the year are more challenging than others.

Let us pray that all of us can find a way to find the blessings in life every day, mo matter what happened in the past. As we create more better days NOW, we are creating better memories to live with a week from now, a month from now and eternally.

Carole Lynne

http://www.carolelynne.com

http://www.worldpsychicsoul.com

http://www.soundcloud.com  (search Carole Lynne)

Storm During Spiritual Circle June 2, 2011

Posted by Carole Lynne in All About Spirit, nature, Worries.
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Last night as we sat in a sacred circle, steams of light poured in through the darkened window, and the sounds of thunder shook the house.  As our spirit communication group met, we continued to bring our messages of love and peace from spirit, while each one of us quietly prayed within for the safety of all during this horrible storm.  We had heard of a tornado that touched the ground not too many miles from where we sat, and we prayer for all those who had been in that tornado attack.  We also prayed that we would be spared such an attack in the place that we sat in prayer.

Our class lasted much later than usual as it was impossible for students to leave at nine when the storm was at its worst.  Finally everyone did leave and as I sat alone in the room, I gave a prayer of thanks and a prayer for all those who would be traveling on the road during the next hour to reach the safety of their homes.

Storms of this magnitude let us understand that we are guests in the home of the Mother Earth, and have very little control over such storms. Let us take care of our earth and our atmosphere to protect this beautiful home.

Psychic Medium and Inspirational Author Carole Lynne

http://www.carolelynne.com

http://www.carolelynnecosmicconnection.com

Apples and Music June 26, 2010

Posted by Carole Lynne in All About Spirit, Feeling Better, Spiritual Priority, Uncategorized, Worries.
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 With a smile on your face

With a smile in your voice

With a song in your heart you erase all the worries within as the music seeps through every part of you bringing you joy and contentment.

As your mother would say “An Apple a Day Keeps the Doctor Away”

As you know in your heart, your mother was smart

And your heart also knows that when music flows it is  joyful: the sure path to bliss.

Psychic Medium and Inspirational Author Carole Lynne

www.carolelynne.com

www.carolelynnecosmicconnection.com

3 Ways to Reduce Stress June 24, 2010

Posted by Carole Lynne in All About Spirit, Feeling Better, Love, Uncategorized, Worries.
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While we are all spirits living in physical bodies, it is hard for some of us to accept that our physical bodies cannot be active all the time, as our spirits can. When we dream our spirits can travel to the far corners of the universe.  But our physical bodies and minds need rest, AND SOME OF US CANNOT STAND THAT!!!!!

They say we teach what we need to learn, so here are three ways to reduce the stress in  your life.

ACCEPTANCE:   Take a good look at yourself and accept yourself as you are. The fact that your best friend can eat ice cream all day and not gain a pound may have NOTHING to do with you.  If you did that you might feel sick all day and gain five pounds.   And the fact that your other friend can get along on four to five hours sleep a night has NOTHING to do with you if you need seven to eight hours sleep each night.  You and I have to face ourselves and accept who we are and what we need to feel relaxed and healthy. 

BOUNDARIES:  If you are a nice, kind, intelligent, helpful and warm-hearted person (and of course you ARE) then everyone wants your attention and your help.  If you do not set some boundaries you will find yourself running from one activity to another and one person to another.  The result will be that you will have no time for yourself and you will become stressed out and scattered.  You and I need to take out our calendars and schedule “ME TIME” in the same way that we schedule work, family and friends appointments. 

LETTING GO AND LETTING GOD: Everyday, especially as we move into the later years of our lives, we hear about people who are in trouble, people who are ill, and about people who have passed on.  If we are in the middle years of our lives we become focused on the problems of both the generation younger than us (our children) and the generation older than us (our parents).  No matter what stage of life we are in, we hear about serious problems.  While it is important to do what we can to help others in serious difficulty, we have to accept that some things are beyond our control and beyond our help.  We need to let go and let God.  At times the best thing we can do in a difficult situation is to step back and quiet ourselves. In that state of quiet, we can send our prayers to those in need.

My prayer is that each one of us can accept that while on the spiritual level there is no time, on the human level there are only so many hours in a day, and it is 24 hours we have to work with as human beings.  Let us step back and look at the ways we use our time and find ways to become more relaxed and less stressed out.

Psychic Medium and Inspirational Author Carole Lynne

www.carolelynne.com

www.carolelynnecosmicconnection.com

Mood Management as a Spiritual Practice February 11, 2010

Posted by Carole Lynne in All About Spirit, Author Carole Lynne, Feeling Better, Grief, nature, Spiritual Awakening, Uncategorized, Worries.
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Mood management is a spiritual practice.  Here are some “tips” that I hope you will find helpful.

One: Realize that you are a spirit living in a physical body, and with that physical body you also have your mind and the personality you have been developing since you were a baby. However,  the core of you is not that body, mind or personality. Your spirit is who you really are, and has access to wisdom and knowledge that your mind and personality cannot easily access.  As you get upset during the day and night, stop for a moment and realize that all the upset is going on within your mind and your personality. Your spirit is not upset.

Two:  When you have realized that your spirit is not upset, focus on the spirit within and get in touch with the serenity and calm energy that is your spirit.  Take several deep breaths and while doing so understand that for the moment you will let go of the upset within your mind and personality, and reside solely within the realms of your spirit within.

Three: When you are upset, choose words to say that are calming.  For instance, you might like to say ” all is well within” or “I am a spark of Divine consciousness and all is well.”  These words are only suggestions and ultimately you need to find your own words. 

Four:  When you are upset, choose an image to focus on that is calming. Would you like to imagine the ocean, a beautiful flower, or the mountains?

Five:  Once you have chosen words to say and an image to focus on,  use these spiritual tools not only when you are upset, but though out the day to avoid becoming upset.  Prevent yourself from going into an emotional tailspin.  When you feel your mind and personality getting out of balance, immediately say the words within your mind and focus on the image.

Caution: If you are deeply troubled, consider getting help from a professional counselor or joining a support group. Some of us go through periods of our lives where our problems are too heavy a burden to handle by ourselves.

Psychic Medium and Inspirational Author Carole Lynne

Author of Cosmic Connection: Messages for a Better World, Consult Your Inner Psychic, How to Get a Good Reading from a Psychic Medium and Heart and Sound.

www.carolelynne.com

www.carolelynnecosmicconnection.com

 

 

3 Steps to REAL Confidence January 14, 2010

Posted by Carole Lynne in Feeling Better, practical action, Spiritual Awakening, Uncategorized, Worries.
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While some weekend seminar leader may be able to pump you up into believing that you can do anything, you will not have real success unless you do the hard work that success requires.  Many times quickly acquired confidence is false confidence.

Follow these three steps: you are sure to be more successful in your life adventures, and each success will bring more real confidence. 

Introduction

Years ago, when I was a public speaking coach, people used to come for sessions and tell me that they had no confidence in their abilities to speak in front of a crowd. “Make me confident” they would cry. I would then ask these people to give a short talk so that I could observe them.  In many cases,  people had good reason to lack confidence in their speaking abilities, as they were not good speakers. All the confidence in the world would not help them if they did not learn how to make an outline for a talk, how to rehearse and how to keep the attention of an audience.

To be confident, you need skills. Here are three steps to developing REAL confidence.

Step One: Write down a mission statement describing what you would like to feel confident about doing. Do you want to feel confident interviewing for a new job? Or do you want to feel confident the next time you go out on a date?  Write a specific statement about what you want to feel confident doing.  Call this your project mission statement.

Step Two: Make a list of the skills you need to learn or the things you need to do in order to feel confident carrying out the project you have described in your mission statement.  If you want to feel confident looking for a job, your list might include organizing a new resume, getting some new interview clothes, and doing a practice interview with a friends, so that you can become more comfortable talking about yourself.

Step Three:  Give your self a LARGE dose of patience, and convince yourself that it is going to take time to carry out your mission.  If you try to reach your goal too fast, and without the skills and planning needed, you are likely to fail.  If you want to be successful, give yourself time to succeed.

It is only in succeeding over and over again, that one can become truly confident.

Confidence for confidence’s sake is dangerous. For instance, I am not at all confident about flying an airplane or operating on a person who needs a heart replacement.  As I do not have the skills to do either job: having confidence for the sake of being positive and motivated would be ludicrous. I do not think any of you would want to sit in my airplane or lay on my operating table, thank you very much!

Psychic Medium and Inspirational Author Carole Lynne

www.carolelynne.com

www.carolelynnecosmicconnection.com

When in Holiday Grief November 22, 2009

Posted by Carole Lynne in Feeling Better, Grief, Worries.
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While we would all like to have 100% of happiness during the holiday season, the reality is that we do not.  The holidays are a mixed bag filled with many memories, both wonderful and painful.  For those who have lost loved ones, who have left their bodies and transitioned to eternal life, the holidays can be a time of grief and sorrow.  And problems between members of our families can also make the holiday time stressful and sad. 

Perhaps the holidays ask us to take a deep look at ourselves as human beings, and to accept that life is filled with many experiences.  Life is a precious and wonderful adventure, but it also comes with many painful experiences. We have to cope. We have to endure whatever hardships we have in our lives, and continue to be positive and hopeful people.  When times are tough, we must remember that good times and wonderful feelings may be just around the corner. 

Psychic Medium and Inspirational Author Carole Lynne

www.carolelynne.com

www.carolelynnecosmicconnection.com

Guilt After a Passing November 5, 2009

Posted by Carole Lynne in Feeling Better, Grief, Spiritual Awakening, Worries.
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“I was not there when my loved one passed”

While we would all like to be by the side of our loved one at the time of passing, it is not always possible. One of the hardest things to cope with after the passing of a loved one, is guilt. Not everyone feels guilt, but many do. As a psychic medium, I work with many people who are in deep grief and burdened with guilt.  One of the things people feel guilty about, is not being with their loved one at the moment of passing.

I have talked with a woman who stayed with her loved one in the hospital 24/7, wanting to be with her loved one at the moment of passing.  Then when she left the hospital bed for two minutes to go to the rest room, the loved one passed into eternal life.  She was devastated and asks me “why did this happen?”  She wants to know if her loved one wanted to pass alone to spare her the grief, or was her loved one angry at her?”   All kinds of thoughts run through her mind over and over again as she tries to understand why her loved one did not wait for her to come back into the room before passing.

I cannot prove why a human being passes at a particular moment.  It could be for very physical reasons, and it could be that the spirit of the human being makes a choice about when to pass.  Many believe that there is a contract between the soul of the person and God and that the moment of death is in God’s hands.   My experiences as a psychic medium have brought me to the conclusion that when the spirit of a human being passes into eternal life, the shutdown of the body and the mind do not always coincide with the moment the spirit leaves the physical body and makes the transition into eternal life.  I sense that the spirits within many who are getting ready to pass on are beginning to leave their physical bodies long before the medical moment of physical death.  For instance the spirits of people who are in comas may have left their bodies, but are still in the hospital room, trying to comfort their loved ones who are sitting by the bedside crying.

What I do know is that it is not always possible to be with a loved one at the moment of physical death. It IS possible to be with the spirit of your loved one, before, during and after the passing.

Remember that you can be with the spirit of your loved one at all times, and so if you are not able to be with your loved one at the moment of physical passing, you can still be with the spirit, even though you may not be at the physical side of your loved one.  Place thoughts of your loved one in your consciousness and speak within your mind to your loved one.  Or you may prefer to sing to your loved one as the vibrations of sound, whether sung out loud or simply “played with in the mind” are powerful and healing to the spirit of your loved one. And you do not have to be a good singer to send wonderful vibrations of love through sound.

When my father, whom I was very close to during his lifetime, passed into spirit, I was on the other side of the country.  I was devastated, but I felt in touch with his spirit. In fact, I woke in the middle of the night and felt that he was passing. It was within the next hour that I received the news from family members who were with him.   Many of my clients have had this same kind of experience.

It is never too late to communicate with the spirit of your loved one.

If you were not with your loved one at the time of passing, or if you did not feel in touch with the spirit of your loved one at that time, it is never too late to communicate your love.  Just close your eyes and say a prayer and then talk to your loved one out loud or within your mind.   I have had great proof in readings, that our loved ones in eternal life hear us even if they have passed on many years ago.  I do not mean to insinuate that we can talk to them as if we were on a phone.  But I know that thoughts are vibrations and that they can travel between the realms of our conscious earth life and the eternal life that many of us call “the spirit world” or “heaven.”

If you feel guilt after the passing of a loved one, know that are in the company of many who also feel guilt. It is all part of the grieving process.  Try to focus on all the good things that you have done, and know that your loved one is not in eternal life, making a list of all the things  you did that were not perfect.  I have never had a communication with any spirit who came through in a reading with messages about all the imperfections of my client. In fact it is just the opposite. Those in spirit seem to have gained a greater understanding of life, and they are usually most appreciative for all that we have done for them and the love that we have given them and are continuing to give through our prayers for them, and through keeping their memories alive with the family.

Psychic Medium and Inspirational Author Carole Lynne

www.carolelynne.com

www.carolelynnecosmicconnection.com

Look and See October 17, 2009

Posted by Carole Lynne in Feeling Better, Spiritual Awakening, Spiritual Priority, Uncategorized, Worries.
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When I lived in California, I knew a man named John who lived out of his van. He sold old books and records and traveled from town to town. I was working as a musician then, and he knew all the musicians in the towns he visited. I would walk with him sometimes and he would look at a public park and say “welcome to my park.” He knew the world belonged to him even if he did not own much of anything. What a fortunate and wealthy man.

Sometimes it is easy for us to feel sorry for ourselves, but if we take a look at our lives there are many things to be grateful for.  If we have places to live and food on the table, we have alot that many people in our world do not have.  And yet, so many of us become despondent and greedy, always wanting more, more, more.  When this happens, we waste the precious time we have on this earth.

Psychic Medium and Inspirational Author Carole Lynne

Author of Cosmic Connection: Messages for a Better World, Consult Your Inner Psychic, How to Get a Good Reading From a Psychic Medium and Heart and Sound.

http://www.carolelynne.com