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3 Steps to REAL Confidence January 14, 2010

Posted by Carole Lynne in Feeling Better, practical action, Spiritual Awakening, Uncategorized, Worries.

While some weekend seminar leader may be able to pump you up into believing that you can do anything, you will not have real success unless you do the hard work that success requires.  Many times quickly acquired confidence is false confidence.

Follow these three steps: you are sure to be more successful in your life adventures, and each success will bring more real confidence. 


Years ago, when I was a public speaking coach, people used to come for sessions and tell me that they had no confidence in their abilities to speak in front of a crowd. “Make me confident” they would cry. I would then ask these people to give a short talk so that I could observe them.  In many cases,  people had good reason to lack confidence in their speaking abilities, as they were not good speakers. All the confidence in the world would not help them if they did not learn how to make an outline for a talk, how to rehearse and how to keep the attention of an audience.

To be confident, you need skills. Here are three steps to developing REAL confidence.

Step One: Write down a mission statement describing what you would like to feel confident about doing. Do you want to feel confident interviewing for a new job? Or do you want to feel confident the next time you go out on a date?  Write a specific statement about what you want to feel confident doing.  Call this your project mission statement.

Step Two: Make a list of the skills you need to learn or the things you need to do in order to feel confident carrying out the project you have described in your mission statement.  If you want to feel confident looking for a job, your list might include organizing a new resume, getting some new interview clothes, and doing a practice interview with a friends, so that you can become more comfortable talking about yourself.

Step Three:  Give your self a LARGE dose of patience, and convince yourself that it is going to take time to carry out your mission.  If you try to reach your goal too fast, and without the skills and planning needed, you are likely to fail.  If you want to be successful, give yourself time to succeed.

It is only in succeeding over and over again, that one can become truly confident.

Confidence for confidence’s sake is dangerous. For instance, I am not at all confident about flying an airplane or operating on a person who needs a heart replacement.  As I do not have the skills to do either job: having confidence for the sake of being positive and motivated would be ludicrous. I do not think any of you would want to sit in my airplane or lay on my operating table, thank you very much!

Psychic Medium and Inspirational Author Carole Lynne





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