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Guilt After a Passing November 5, 2009

Posted by Carole Lynne in Feeling Better, Grief, Spiritual Awakening, Worries.
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“I was not there when my loved one passed”

While we would all like to be by the side of our loved one at the time of passing, it is not always possible. One of the hardest things to cope with after the passing of a loved one, is guilt. Not everyone feels guilt, but many do. As a psychic medium, I work with many people who are in deep grief and burdened with guilt.  One of the things people feel guilty about, is not being with their loved one at the moment of passing.

I have talked with a woman who stayed with her loved one in the hospital 24/7, wanting to be with her loved one at the moment of passing.  Then when she left the hospital bed for two minutes to go to the rest room, the loved one passed into eternal life.  She was devastated and asks me “why did this happen?”  She wants to know if her loved one wanted to pass alone to spare her the grief, or was her loved one angry at her?”   All kinds of thoughts run through her mind over and over again as she tries to understand why her loved one did not wait for her to come back into the room before passing.

I cannot prove why a human being passes at a particular moment.  It could be for very physical reasons, and it could be that the spirit of the human being makes a choice about when to pass.  Many believe that there is a contract between the soul of the person and God and that the moment of death is in God’s hands.   My experiences as a psychic medium have brought me to the conclusion that when the spirit of a human being passes into eternal life, the shutdown of the body and the mind do not always coincide with the moment the spirit leaves the physical body and makes the transition into eternal life.  I sense that the spirits within many who are getting ready to pass on are beginning to leave their physical bodies long before the medical moment of physical death.  For instance the spirits of people who are in comas may have left their bodies, but are still in the hospital room, trying to comfort their loved ones who are sitting by the bedside crying.

What I do know is that it is not always possible to be with a loved one at the moment of physical death. It IS possible to be with the spirit of your loved one, before, during and after the passing.

Remember that you can be with the spirit of your loved one at all times, and so if you are not able to be with your loved one at the moment of physical passing, you can still be with the spirit, even though you may not be at the physical side of your loved one.  Place thoughts of your loved one in your consciousness and speak within your mind to your loved one.  Or you may prefer to sing to your loved one as the vibrations of sound, whether sung out loud or simply “played with in the mind” are powerful and healing to the spirit of your loved one. And you do not have to be a good singer to send wonderful vibrations of love through sound.

When my father, whom I was very close to during his lifetime, passed into spirit, I was on the other side of the country.  I was devastated, but I felt in touch with his spirit. In fact, I woke in the middle of the night and felt that he was passing. It was within the next hour that I received the news from family members who were with him.   Many of my clients have had this same kind of experience.

It is never too late to communicate with the spirit of your loved one.

If you were not with your loved one at the time of passing, or if you did not feel in touch with the spirit of your loved one at that time, it is never too late to communicate your love.  Just close your eyes and say a prayer and then talk to your loved one out loud or within your mind.   I have had great proof in readings, that our loved ones in eternal life hear us even if they have passed on many years ago.  I do not mean to insinuate that we can talk to them as if we were on a phone.  But I know that thoughts are vibrations and that they can travel between the realms of our conscious earth life and the eternal life that many of us call “the spirit world” or “heaven.”

If you feel guilt after the passing of a loved one, know that are in the company of many who also feel guilt. It is all part of the grieving process.  Try to focus on all the good things that you have done, and know that your loved one is not in eternal life, making a list of all the things  you did that were not perfect.  I have never had a communication with any spirit who came through in a reading with messages about all the imperfections of my client. In fact it is just the opposite. Those in spirit seem to have gained a greater understanding of life, and they are usually most appreciative for all that we have done for them and the love that we have given them and are continuing to give through our prayers for them, and through keeping their memories alive with the family.

Psychic Medium and Inspirational Author Carole Lynne





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