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How to Help the Helpless April 28, 2009

Posted by Carole Lynne in Feeling Better, Grief, Spiritual Priority.
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It is very important and yet difficult to help those who are not able to help themselves. First of all, we need to understand in the specific case of a helpless person, what is the best kind of help to be given.

If there are a group of people who are starving, then the answer may be to give money to a reputable organization that can use the funds to purchase food for the hungry. If there are people who are homeless, unless one can provide a home (which many of us cannot or do not feel comfortable offering) then the best way to help might be to either volunteer time to an organization for the homeless, or give funds to such an organization.  Sometimes the best way to help the helpless is through an organization dedicated to helping a particular group of people.

When someone we know personally needs help, such as a family member of close friend, then we need to find out from that person what will be most helpful.  If our loved one is recovering from  surgery would it be helpful to bring food? If so, we need to find out what kind of food the person is advised and likes to eat, or our food will simply take up room in the refrigerator and never be eaten.  If the person needs to have someone walk the dog or feed the cat, then we need to know if we can do that j0b, or if someone else needs to help in that way.   If the person needs shopping done, perhaps that is the thing to do.   When getting a list of the person’s needs, it is important to organize a group of family or friends so that as large a number of people as possible share in the helping activities.  As one person, it becomes too difficult to keep up with all of ones own responsibilities as well as the responsibilities of a loved one who for the moment, cannot do their own chores.   Sometimes the best way to help a loved one in need is to organize a group of “helpers.”

It becomes harder to know how to help a helpless person who really could help themselves if he or she was motivated to do so.  We all know people who through lack of courage, moral stamina and determination, bring themselves into a place of despair that they could get themselves out of.  From my point of view, these people need a spiritual lift into an energy of hope. They need a psychological understanding that they are responsible for themselves.  In many of these cases, we advice people to seek medical help or to see a therapist. When the person refuses, it becomes very difficult to know how to help a person who will not help themselves.   I sometimes reach a point where my only choice is to pray for a person in such despair, as my phone calls and visits do not seem to provide much help. In these cases, I also have to put a limit on the number of phone calls and visits I make, because ultimately I can also become depressed and frustrated.  However, I do not wish to stop communication, but must set limits.  Sometimes we must set limits with people who could help themselves but do not.

Helping others is an important part of the spiritual path for each one of us.  It is difficult to make time to help others and often difficult to share our money. But unless we are starving ourselves and unable to take care of ourselves, we must make both time and money, within our own limits,  available for those in need.

Psychic Medium Carole Lynne

***

www.carolelynne.com

www.carolelynnecosmicconnection.com



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Comments»

1. Connie Dorfner - May 6, 2009

Thank you, Carol, for the comments on helping the helpless. I am in the process of trying to help (save) my daughter who refuses to help herself. She is married to a man who she allows to drag her down in life and they always take the kids with them down into this abyss they’ve come to know as home. I also read your blog on bonds of love, which rings of truth, but I am having trouble discerning where the common ground of acceptance can be found. For me, acceptance in the situation is more than I can swallow at this point.
However, let me get back to what I can take home with me today from your site. I just said to my other daughter this morning that I am going to turn her (helpless daughter) and the kids over to God and trust Him/Her with their lives. I don’t know what else to do at this point as I have given money to point that I almost broke my household at times. I have offered my and my husbands time and energy until we are exhausted, literally. I have offered my friendship but have found that I am not her friend unless I can approve of what goes on, which is impossible for a woman of my journeys and life lessons. I can not look at the situation everyday and not share what I know as a woman anymore than I could stand silently while watching a toddler walk into traffic. I can’t simply say, “Oh well, if he gets hit by a car, it was meant to be.”
At this moment, I can only pull back physically and offer my prayer for both, me and my daughter. However, I am so frustrated with her that I joke with myself that God will probably reply back, “I don’t know, even I am stumped on this one.” Anyway, thank you for confirming that prayer is, indeed, an offering of help when we can not physically/financially help someone who will not help themselves. I needed that confirmation today of all days.

2. Carole Lynne - May 6, 2009

Dear Connie,

My heart goes out to you. Sounds like you are coping with some REALLY difficult situations. I hope that everyone who reads your comment will send out a prayer for you and your family. I am sending a prayer right now.

Carole Lynne

3. moin - June 3, 2009

pls help me for my father aged 85-86years, and suffering from “paralysis” and dehydration since last 12-13 months, he is unable to move for his daily life routines, my mother aged 74-75years doing attendent jobs for him, it is very miserable life for both of them, pls pray them, and help me for admit both of them in a hospital for proper medical treatment and care.

Carole Lynne - June 3, 2009

Thank you for writing to me. I will pray for you. I can hear that you and your parents are having some very difficult times. I ask all who read your post, to send prayers to you and your family.


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