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Grief My Own Way November 7, 2009

Posted by Carole Lynne in Grief, Uncategorized.

While others can counsel us and try to help us cope with grief, ultimately we all have  to cope with grief in our own way and on our own timetable.   For instance,  there are people who after the passing of a loved one, mourn deeply for several years, while others are in such shock that they do not even begin to feel the pain until the loved one has been gone for at least a year.  Each one of us grieves on a unique individual time-table.

People also react differently to the loss of a loved one.  Some people who lose a spouse or partner, want to become involved in another relationship within a year after the passing of a loved one. Other people do not ever want to become involved in a serious relationship again.  And there are those who need to wait five years or more before entering a new relationship. 

As a psychic medium, I speak with many in grief, and one woman who had lost her husband, complained to me that her friends were trying to push her into dating, when she had no interest in being in another relationship.  “Why do I have to marry again?” she lamented.  “I had a wonderful marriage and I can never replace that relationship with another. I want to spend the rest of my life visiting members of my family and doing charity work. What is wrong with that?” 

Yet another woman spoke to me about how lonely she was, and how important it was to her to start dating. She was fearful that her husband’s spirit would not approve if she remarried.   Ultimately this woman was able to move through her grief and reach a point where she could begin to date without feeling guilty. 

If you have lost a spouse or partner, it is up to you at to whether you want a to pursue another relationship. No matter what you do, some will be critical of you either because you DO date or you DON’T date.  So do not bother to make your decision to fit the needs of other people.  Do what you need to do.

The truth is that each of us is an individual. We do not look the same, we do not have the same talents or the same dispositions. Why should we expect to grieve in the same way?  For some of us it will take a short time to get over the loss of a loved one, and some of us will never get over our grief.  Some of us after the loss of a significant other will want a new relationship and some of us will never want another relationship.  Let us know our own needs and follow our own hearts without letting a list of “shoulds” make our grief even more difficult to bear.  

If you are in grief, get the help from others that you need. But allow yourself to grieve on your own time-table and in your own way.

Psychic Medium and Inspirational Author Carole Lynne





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